... and the financing is guaranteed by ?

"Bombardier gets $172M US order for trains Canadian Press May 31, 2005
MONTREAL -- Bombardier Transportation has received a train order worth $172 million US from Germany's Landesnahverkehrsgesellschaft Niedersachsen (LNVG), the train and aircraft maker said Tuesday."

Let's do the crime wave ...

"Ontario becomes first province to force hospitals to report gunshot injuries
TORONTO (CP) - Ontario has become the first province in the country to require hospitals to notify police whenever patients arrive with gunshot wounds."

This is so bizarre ........ twilight zone!

"to 'de' or not to 'de' "

"When it comes to the new French premier's name ..."

" .... After all, it's tough to remember anyone who had the gall to shorten Charles de Gaulle ...."

In other news ...

"Underwear shortage strikes Thai prisons
BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - Female inmates in Thailand's prisons are so short of underwear that the head of the main women's prison appealed to the public for donations - new or recycled."

Hey ... it's economics.

Have I got a deal for you! Fresh picked jellybeans!

"Ex-Liberal president says she knew nothing about secret cash donations
BRIAN DALY Tue May 31, 2:00 PM ET MONTREAL (CP) - A former Liberal executive said Tuesday she was told the party was paying some bills off the books, but insisted she knew nothing about alleged illicit cash payments in the 1990s."

One down! We're on a roll!

"Paul Coffin pleads guilty to 15 fraud-related charges in sponsorship scandal
DONALD MCKENZIE Tue May 31,11:27 AM ET MONTREAL (CP) - Paul Coffin, the first person charged in the federal sponsorship scandal, pleaded guilty Tuesday to 15 fraud charges."

"Paul Coffin wants to repay more than $1.5 million he fraudulently obtained"

Parachutes non-optional

Angels are planning a surprise party! Exact time and place still to be determined. Drop zone variable. Special delivery :)

It's Memorial Day weekend in the States

... of course, "Canada" doesn't want to deal with such sacrifices, beyond a short ceremony every November 11. My uncle is on this page. He died August 26, 1944 near Bourgtheroulde, France.
Thank you, Uncle.

Book of Remembrance

The first film that if you haven't seen, you should, immediately,

or risk having a midget in a biker jacket sneer at you like, well, like ... hmmm ... this is not good ... Dudley Do-right.

1950s, Group 1
1) Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

I'M JUST KIDDING!

We could start bareblogging!

It's a slow news day, so ....

via Kate Thanks to LookUpConservative.com

Even the New York Times is catblogging

Hello Kitty, Hello Clone

" ... at Genetic Savings and Clone, the company that stored Shadow's DNA, the price is $32,000 .... "

You can't make it up

Sperm supply fear over tax demand

"In a letter to Taxation Minister Kristian Jensen, the company defended the donors' right not to pay tax, saying: "It is a special kind of work and the fees paid cannot be compared to normal working income."

Only in Canada ...

"do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'!"

Auditors dig up millions more spent on 'sponsorship-related' activities

"CBC News OTTAWA - Auditors hired by the Gomery inquiry have uncovered another $105 million spent on sponsorship-related activities by the Liberals."

Taxpayers foot $1M bill for Liberals' sponsorship 'war room' Secret team monitors Gomery inquiry, prepares for fallout Jack Aubry The Ottawa Citizen

"The Liberal government has set up a secret war room -- at a cost of about $1 million to Canadian taxpayers -- to handle the fallout from the Gomery commission."

via Bourque

Huntress? (for crazy catbloggers)

(I saw that, Gail)

H/T Jay

I Won! I Won! (oh, gawd!)

As Gail puts it: "The Condom Queen"

Where's my tiara when I need it?

Let's keep some perspective

I still think there's a fine line that too often gets crossed by the media. Prudence, people!

"Bashing Newsweek" DAVID BROOKS NYT Published: May 19, 2005

" ..... The rioters are the real enemy, not Newsweek and not the American soldiers serving as prison guards. Just to restore some proper perspective, let me quote a snippet from a sermon delivered by Sheik Ibrahim Mudeiris, which ran last weekend on the Palestinian Authority's official TV station:

"The day will come when we will rule America. The day will come when we will rule Britain and the entire world - except for the Jews. The Jews will not enjoy a life of tranquillity under our rule because they are treacherous by nature, as they have been throughout history. The day will come when everything will be relieved of the Jews - even the stones and trees which were harmed by them. Listen to the Prophet Muhammad, who tells you about the evil end that awaits Jews. The stones and trees will want the Muslims to finish off every Jew."

These are the extremists, the real enemy. Let's keep our eye on the ball. "

One to watch

A Doctor -Lawyer-Gadfly v. Canada's Medical System

"It has been a year since the Canadian Supreme Court heard the case, a rare delay that is raising eyebrows in legal circles. Scholars studying Dr. Chaoulli's challenge say the court is either badly divided or waiting for the appropriate political moment to release a bombshell. They speculate that the justices may agree outright with Dr. Chaoulli (pronounced cha-OOH-li), or are working out instructions to the government to find a way to fix what many agree is an ailing health care network - where doctors are in short supply and patients wait months for diagnostic tests and elective surgeries like cornea transplants and knee replacements."

Did you know ...

"The palimpsest is the only known source for two treatises written by Archimedes, who is perhaps best known for supposedly running naked through the streets of Syracuse shouting "Eureka!" after discovering the principle of water displacement in his bathtub."

LATIMES

There goes my pension!

Fight against graft goes after bedroom hanky-panky

"BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese city has taken its fight on corruption to the bedroom, ordering officials to own up to extramarital affairs in the hope of keeping public money out of the hands of mistresses, Xinhua news agency reported."

Family Treasures

Allan Hirsh/Hirsch was married to Ellen Reid - first cousin to my grandfather (on my mother's side).

You can't make it up

Eggheads Invent Tele-Petting

"This is the first human-poultry interaction system ever developed," said professor Adrian David Cheok, the leader of the team, who has been developing the technology for nearly two years.

"We understand the perceived eccentricity of developing a system for humans to interact with poultry remotely, but this work has a much wider significance," he added.

Huffington

Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington Huffington

Too Late

By SETH SUTEL, AP Business Writer 6 minutes ago

"NEW YORK - Newsweek magazine, under fire for publishing a story that led to deadly protests in Afghanistan, said Monday it was retracting its report that a military probe had found evidence of desecration of the Quran by U.S. interrogators at Guantanamo Bay."

...

"In a statement, Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman said the original story was "demonstrably false" and "irresponsible," and "had significant consequences that reverberated throughout Muslim communities around the world." "

"Newsweek hid behind anonymous sources, which by their own admission do not withstand scrutiny," Whitman said. "Unfortunately, they cannot retract the damage they have done to this nation or those that were viciously attacked by those false allegations."

Deadly Stupidity! or "Newsweek Fucks Up"

Newsweek says may have erred in Koran report

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Newsweek magazine on Sunday said it may have erred in a May 9 report that said U.S. interrogators desecrated the Koran at Guantanamo Bay, and apologized to victims of deadly violence sparked by the article.

The weekly news magazine said in its May 23 edition that the original source of the allegation was not sure where he saw the assertion that at least one copy of the Koran was flushed down a toilet in an attempt to get detainees to talk.

"We regret that we got any part of our story wrong, and extend our sympathies to victims of the violence and to the U.S. soldiers caught in its midst," Editor Mark Whitaker wrote in the magazine's latest issue, due to appear on U.S. newsstands on Monday." ... more

Update: (also NYT and WAPO; Evan Thomas whitewash?; more from Powerline; Kate; LGF; Malkin; Gail)

"WASHINGTON (AFP) The US magazine whose story of alleged desecration of a Koran holy book sparked deadly protests in Muslim countries said that its report might have been wrong.

...

In its new account in this week's magazine, Newsweek said that on checking with the senior US official who had remembered seeing details of the Koran incident in a report, the official could no longer be sure.

Newsweek said that when it told Pentagon' spokesman Lawrence DiRita of the source's response, DiRita "exploded".

"People are dead because of what this son of a bitch said. How could he be credible now?" DiRita was quoted as saying." ... more

Heh!

Hadn't Flip'd to this before.

"Bananada" ... cont'd ... from David Frum's Diary

"MAY. 13, 2005: FROZEN BANANA

"Is Canada hurtling toward full banana-republicdom? The Liberal corruption scandals every day take on horrifying new amplitude."

"Now we are learning that the Liberal Party in Quebec was effectively run by organized crime bosses - and that when one Liberal leader objected, he was threatened with death."

"The Liberals have lost a series of confidence votes in the House of Commons. On Wednesday and Thursday, the Conservatives won two votes to force adjournment. By long constitutional usage, a Westminster-system government that is forced to adjourn must either resign or call an election. But the Liberals, apparently taking their advice from the lawyers of Charles I, seem to believe that they can continue governing without the support of Parliament."

"In hopes of buying votes, they continue to announce lavish spending proposals - even as 400 years of British constitutional law denies a government that rules without a majority in Parliament the right to spend so much as a single penny." ...

Read on ..

You can't make it up

"BANGKOK (Reuters) - Thailand's health ministry warned size-obsessed men on Friday to avoid trying to enlarge their penises with liquid injections, saying it could cause deformities."

"The public health warning issued earlier week urged men to be happy with their natural size."

"LIMA, Peru (Reuters) - A Peruvian woman sank her teeth into the testicles of a man who broke into her property to steal cattle and tried to rape her, leaving doctors no option but to lop one off, police and officials said on Friday."

More ...

Synchronized Wading

The Worthympic Games

New Olympic events! I'm not quite sure how to identify the photoshoppers responsible, but these are fabulous.

My, how times have changed!

Mango Wontons with lime sauce ... MMmmmmmm

• 2 large mangoes, 12 oz. each
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 tablespoons natural cane sugar
• 36 large wonton wrappers*
• peanut oil, for frying

Lime Sauce

• 1/2 cup sugar
• juice and grated zest of 2 limes
• 1/4 teaspoon dried chile flakes (optional)

Makes 36

To make the sauce, put the sugar, lime juice and zest, chile flakes (if using), and 1/2 cup of water in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring until the sugar has dissolved. Simmer for 7 minutes until syrupy. Cool and transfer to a serving bowl.

To make the wontons, slice the flesh off the mangoes and chop into 1/8 inch dice. Heat the butter and sugar in a wok or skillet and stir in the mango. Cook for 1 minute, then let cool. (Substitute strawberries or kiwi for equally awesome results.)

Put 1 tablespoon of the mango mixture at one corner of each wonton skin. Brush the edges with water, roll up and twist each end so you have a bonbon shape.

Fill a wok or saucepan 1/3 full of the oil and heat to 375° or until a small cube of bread turns golden brown in 30 seconds. Fry the wontons in batches of 6 for 1-2 minutes, bring the oil back to temperature between each batch. Drain on crumpled paper towels.

Serve immediately with the lime dipping sauce.

*packages vary, but contain about 40 large (4 inch) or 70 small (3 inch) wrappers. Leftovers can be frozen.

Canada's new defence initiative

Wed May 11, 3:31 PM ET

"PARIS (AFP) - A tiny Canadian shrub is the quickest-moving thing in the plant world, using a catapult mechanism to eject its pollen at a speed hundreds of times faster than a launched rocket, scientists have found."

AFP/Nature - Wed May 11, 3:31 PM ET (AFP/Nature/D. Whitaker, M. Laskowski, A. Acosta, J. Edwards)


... 'course its range needs to be worked on.

'shrooms over Canada

Gomery 'atom bomb': Rogue group ran Quebec Liberal fundraising witness
Willian Marsden, CanWest News Service, May 12, 2005

"MONTREAL - The federal Liberal party was running a secret parallel fundraising organization in Quebec that reported directly to the former public works minister Alfonso Gagliano, according to a former director-general of the party."

...

"He also said at least one of the fundraisers was also involved in lobbying for government contracts on behalf of corporate donors. He said this would have gone off "like an atomic bomb" if it had been made public."

"When Mr. Dezainde tried to "cut out the rot from the Liberal tree" by firing the fundraiser, he said the Prime Minister's Office reproached him and the man who headed the rogue fundraising organization, Guiseppe "Joe" Morselli, threatened him."

"He came right up close to me and put his finger right in my nose and said, 'From now on it is war between you and I,' " Mr. Dezainde said. "I felt my own safety was directly threatened."

"He said Mr. Morselli also tried to "blackmail" him and told him that a friend of his would lose his government contacts unless the fundraiser was rehired. .... "

and the wisdom to know the difference

"... Martin must live with the reality that Tuesday's vote shows he does not have a majority of MPs willing to pass his agenda ..."

Beaver lore

We have a very real, gnawing problem on our hands.

"The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees."June Callwood

Hell, No! We won't Go!

Parliament is over

"Grits hold fast after losing motion demanding they quit; Tories say they'll deal with them today By MARIA McCLINTOCK, Parliamentary Bureau"

"STEPHEN Harper's Conservatives won a squeaker of a vote against the Liberals last night and then claimed that this Parliament has collapsed. The motion, calling for a Commons committee to force Paul Martin's Liberals to resign, was passed 153 to 150 as the Tories and Bloc Quebecois ganged up on the Grits. Martin refused to step down, saying the vote was not one of confidence -- which would trigger an election -- and that his opponents will soon get their chance to bring down his wobbly minority government."

So much to do ... so little time!

Jeff's gone shopping.

Slow down, willya!

"Bananada"

Say that three times, fast!

at Kate's

It must be spring (or fall, depending on your hemisphere)

Once a year is enough?

Brazilian sex conferences climax with 'Orgasm Day'

"RIO DE JANEIRO (AFP) - The Brazilian town of Esperantina staged an orgy of conferences on topics ranging from impotence to premature ejaculation to mark its annual 'Orgasm Day'. "

You can't make it up

I didn't know they held classes. This is a real door opener (... the imagination runs wild) !

British defence ministry defends grant for servicewoman to be pole dancer

"LONDON (AFP) - Britain's defence ministry defended a decision to pay for an ex-servicewoman to train to be an erotic "pole dancer", arguing it had a duty to help former troops return to civilian life."

Why women are crabby

"We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs."

"Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had."

"Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about."

"Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby."

"Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER."

"Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole."

"After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines."

"Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?"

"When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday."

"So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves."

"Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks..."

"So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"?"

"Yeah right. Bite me."

So, what else is new?

Tucked away on page E3 of the Ottawa Citizen today, is a nasty little tidbit. The government's on-going practice of lending money to foreign corporations (some none too stable) to ease the export of Canadian products, makes me wince. There go my tax dollars again.

New Bombardier Loan
"International Trade Minister Jim Peterson announced a $230-million loan [actually, the paper said "load", which ....] to Delta Airlines subsidiaries Comair and Atlantic Southeast Airlines under the $1.2-billion financing agreement set up in July 2003 to support export sales of Bombardier regional jets."

Heh! Take the test

... but, only if you have a sense of humour.

I am: 101% Republican.

"The only way left to save the democratic ideals of the Founders is to overthrow the elected administration in a patriotic revolution!"

Are You A Republican?H/T AGR

Smack! (again)

" ... the U.S. plans to conduct a special review of Canadian policies and explicitly rejects Canada's rejection of the DMCA."

not quite The Island of Doctor Moreau

Ewe!

" ... These heavily modded sheep are growning human-like organs such as livers, hearts, and blood. All of these could eventually be close enough to the real thing to be harvested as replacements parts. If that doesn't shock you, consider one other human organ that is being grown in some of these sheep:
human brains ... "

Women over 40

Andy Rooney, 60 Minutes

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage."

BREAKING! (Updated)

Canada has crabs!

Update: Now you're really ticking me off!