Monday Funnies ....

"Rep. Barney Frank, House Financial Services chairman, predicted Monday that a deal for a short-term bailout of the auto industry could be struck by the end of the day, with one last funding issue still to be resolved. ....."

Cross-posted ...

Who are all you people and why are you here?

Get a room.

Free speech for thee, but not for me .....

"Ezra Levant begs Canada’s Star Chamber to convict him"



"About Those Canadian Human Rights Commissions"

"Too many rights make a wrong"

Pot .... kettle.

"Choose your Canada!"

Don't you think it's time we started to get it right? Free speech isn't free anymore. Ezra, Mark and Maclean's need your support. They've got mine. Sign the petition.

Free Mark Steyn!

"The Great Global Warming Swindle"

It's long, but well worth the effort.

"A World Toilet Summit has opened in the Indian capital, Delhi, with more than 40 countries taking part."

... According to estimates, 2.6bn people around the world lack access to a hygienic toilet.

The United Nations hopes to halve this figure by 2015 as part of its millennium development goals.

... The UN wants to remedy the situation by 2025.

With the UN involved, you know they'll accomplish squat.

Preaching to the choir ....

The Dalai Lama is here in Ottawa.

An "inner disarmament" of the human soul that replaces jealousy and hatred with compassion and a holistic world view is the first step toward peaceful co-existence, the Dalai Lama told an arena full of spellbound listeners yesterday. ...

I'm quite sure he's a very good man and his heart is in the right place. It just seems that his rhetoric is misplaced by about 5,947 miles.

We recognize your right to be an idiot, a moron and a hypocrite,

... but, Larry David is pretty funny.

"If environmentalism is to Democratic America what religious morality is to Republican states, there is at least one Laurie David for every Ted Haggard. The gossip site TMZ in October, 2006, compiled a short tally sheet: George Clooney drives an electric car that gets 135 miles to the gallon--and then hopped on a private jet to Tokyo, burning enough fuel in one flight to power his car back and forth across the Pacific 57 times. Julia Roberts, Jennifer Lopez, Brad Pitt: same story.

But maybe Larry David put it best. Asked by reporters for reaction to the divorce, he answered, "I went home and turned all the lights on." "

"The true North, stoned and free" ...

A headline that was way too good to pass up.

Listen, Canada, we need to talk.

It's about your little pot habit.

Just look at these numbers from the United Nations. More people smoke in Canada than in nearly every other country. More than Jamaica. More than the Netherlands.

Dude, that has to tell you something.

Do you want to end up like Papua New Guinea or Micronesia?

Stop giggling. They are too real countries.

Canada is a nation of stoners.

According to the United Nations' 2007 World Drug Report released last week, Canadians lead the industrialized world in marijuana smoking. Canadians are four times more likely to have smoked pot in the past year than residents of nearly every other country: 16.8 per cent of Canadians aged 15 to 64 use marijuana, compared to a global average of 3.8 per cent.

Why so high? ...

This follows on a remarkable tiff we've just had here in Ottawa over support for free [ed. that would be taxpayer funded] crack-pipe distribution. The argument went something like this:

Denying pipes to drug-users hurts us all
Re: Council kills crack pipe program, July 12.
I protest this shortsighted and ideologically based move. ...

VS:

Ottawa harm reduction program increasing crack smoking; Up to 80% of drug users engage in "unprotected" sex
Crack program cut disease: study: But free paraphernalia also increased drug use, AIDS conference told

New crack pack

"It's one of the most ironic, mixed messages a municipal government could send to people," Mr. Chiarelli said. "We spend thousands to arrest them, and then spend thousands to supply them with the paraphenalia."

Although police Chief Vern White has opposed the program, he supported a review. Residents of a Sandy Hill neighbourhood who had come to protest the review were jubilant. They said since the city had introduced the program, crack use has increased significantly in their neighbourhood.

Police inspector Lance Valcour, who has walked the beat along Rideau Street and through Sandy Hill for 30 years, said crack cocaine is like the cheap sherry of days gone by. "If you have $3 to spend and you can get a tall boy (beer) for $3.80 and a piece of crack for $3, what are you going to do?"

Earlier, the group of about 25 residents marched to City Hall with bags of used crack pipes they'd picked up on their front lawns. They clashed with a small group from the AIDS Committee of Ottawa who yelled "Crack kits save lives."

As a shouting match ensued, Mayor Larry O'Brien arrived, and stood with used crack pipes sprinkled at his feet. He had to ask his staff for protection from the boisterous protesters.

"We need treatment centres," he told the group. "The last thing we need to do is serve the drugs. This has got to end."

Cracked me up, it did.

Extreme foreplay ...

Healthy sisters opt to remove womb, breasts after test for cancer gene
Britons choose extreme surgery because ‘we all want to be here to see our kids grow up’
BY NIGEL HAWKESTHE TIMES, LONDON © TIMES NEWSPAPERS LTD. 2007

Three British sisters LONDON • had surgery minutes apart in an attempt to save their lives, after discovering they shared a gene that greatly increased their risk of cancer.

Joanne Kavanagh, Louise Lambert and Michelle King found they were all carriers of the BRCA1 gene, after Mrs. King was diagnosed with breast cancer. Carrying the gene gave them all an 80-per-cent lifetime risk of breast cancer and a 40per-cent risk of ovarian cancer. The options were to have regular tests to detect any cancers early, or operations to remove the organs at risk.

Mrs. King, 42, had already had a mastectomy after developing breast cancer three years ago. Her tissue was tested and showed that she carried the BRCA1 gene, which runs in families and often leads to early cases of the disease.

Her sisters, Joanne, 44, and Louise, 39, were advised to have the same test, which showed they, too, carried BRCA1. Neither had yet shown any evidence of either breast or ovarian cancer. They opted for an extreme option: removal of womb and breasts.

All three, who have seven children and one stepchild between them, had hysterectomies on the same day by the same surgeon. In December last year, they were admitted to a hospital in northern England where Dr. Alan Gillespie carried out keyhole surgery in three consecutive operations. Now, Mrs. Kavanagh and Mrs. Lambert are to follow their sister’s example by having mastectomies, too.

“We feel we are fortunate because we can do something about it,” Mrs. King said. “We all want to be here to see our kids grow up.”

Mrs. Kavanagh, who has two children and a stepson, said, “We are positive, upbeat people and because we know about the gene, we can do something about it. At least we have a choice.

“We are in the strange position of currently being healthy but going through drastic surgery. But there is some comfort because all three are in the same situation together and we are able to help each other.”

Dr. Gillespie said greater awareness and developments in genetic screening meant that more women were having the tests. “Some women decide to do nothing, especially if they are young, as their risk of developing cancer is lower and they may want a family,” he said. “But they may consider other options later.”

Carrying BRCA1 or 2, does not mean that a woman will definitely contract breast or ovarian cancer, but it greatly increases the likelihood.

My bold.

I've thought of having my breasts docked, but .... Jesus! Vanity be thy name.

Oh! ... and you can bet your bottom tax dollar .... universal healthcare is in play.

It's time to start praying to the Great Turtle God ...

" ... Next week, the Council of Europe is going to vote on a resolution imposing Darwinism as Europe's official ideology. The European governments are asked to fight the expression of creationist opinions, such as young earth and intelligent design theories. According to the Council of Europe these theories are "undemocratic" and "a threat to human rights." ... "

A must read for all you newbies.

cross-posted
Update via smalldeadanimals

Charlie Zender ... grab a shovel!

Canada has dirty snow. Who knew, and what horse did he ride in on?

A team of U.S. scientists has found that "dirty snow" is a surprisingly significant contributor to global warming, and is urging Canada -- as "custodian" of a vast, snowbound nation -- to lead an international cleanup effort.

The researchers have measured, in the first comprehensive study of its kind, how snowy landscapes tainted by carbon particles from inefficiently burned fuels and forest fires are absorbing more of the sun's heat than the less sooty snow cover of centuries past.

"Snow becomes dirty when soot from tailpipes, smokestacks and forest fires enters the atmosphere and falls to the ground," the team explains. "Soot-infused snow is darker than natural snow. Dark surfaces absorb sunlight and cause warming, while bright surfaces reflect heat back into space and cause cooling."

Even a slightly darkened surface impairs the natural reflective properties of snow crystals, say the scientists, who calculated that dirty snow accounts for a startling one-third of rising temperatures in the Arctic over the past two centuries.

"When we inject dirty particles into the atmosphere and they fall onto snow, the net effect is we warm the polar latitudes," says Charlie Zender, a University of California atmospheric physicist and co-author of a study published in the latest Journal of Geophysical Research. "Dark soot can heat up quickly. It's like placing tiny toaster ovens into the snow pack."

About 80 per cent of "black carbon" pollutants are man-made, the researchers estimate, with forest fires accounting for the rest.

Mr. Zender said that although all nations contribute to the problem of snow impurity through the long-range transport of pollutants, Canada bears particular responsibility to push for cleaner-burning fuels and reduced industrial emissions of soot.

"Just as Brazil is the custodian of the Amazon, a world resource whose deforestation has all sorts of negative consequences, so is Canada a custodian of an important swath of snow-covered land that helps to cool the planet," said Mr. Zender.

He also raised a red flag about increased ship traffic through the Northwest Passage -- widely viewed as a potential economic boon for Canada in the coming decades -- as a result of the melting Arctic ice pack.

"One implication," Mr. Zender said of his team's research, "is that any increase in shipping through the Arctic Ocean -- for example, the Northwest Passage -- is likely to exacerbate these effects by putting soot emissions right in the middle of the remaining snow and sea ice. We must think very carefully about this."

In their NASA-funded project, Mr. Zender and three colleagues from UC-Irvine and the University of Colorado calculated that dirty snow caused the Earth's temperature to rise 0.1 to 0.15 C, or up to 19 per cent of the total warming of 0.8 C over the past 200 years.

In that time, the Arctic has warmed about 1.6 C, and dirty snow there has caused at least 0.5 C of the warming, the team found.

"The global warming debate has focused on carbon dioxide emissions," the scientists note. But their research has "determined that a lesser-known mechanism -- dirty snow -- can explain one-third or more of the Arctic warming primarily attributed to greenhouse gases."

While the international Kyoto strategy to cut greenhouse gases is deemed essential to fight climate change, Mr. Zender's team says targeting sources of dirty snow could pay faster dividends in curbing some of the increase in global temperatures.

"Carbon dioxide lives in the atmosphere for a century, so cutting back on emissions can prevent further warming but does not produce immediate cooling," they said. "Policymakers could use these research results to develop regulations to mitigate global warming. Limiting industrial soot emissions and switching to cleaner-burning fuels would leave snow brighter. New snow falls each year, and if it contained fewer impurities, the ground would brighten and temperatures would cool."

The researchers warn that dirty snow not only results in gradual warming but can also create temperature spikes where surface snowmelt is accelerated enough to expose the deeper, darker layers of previous years' snowfall, or even the soil lying below.

A map produced by the team shows a minimal effect across most of mainland North America and extensive areas of significant heating from darkened snow throughout the High Arctic latitudes.

© The Ottawa Citizen 2007

We report, you decide.

[Cross posted]

Another WTF moment in Canadian history ....

From the National Post:

Secretaries’ laugh therapy luncheon costs taxpayers $625
OUTAOUAIS HEALTH AGENCY ‘At $25 per person, the investment is really worth it’ BY JEAN-FRANÇOIS BERTRAND CanWest News Service

GATINEAU, QUE. • They take their laughter seriously at the Outaouais health agency. Last April, 25 secretaries, administrative assistants and support staff took part in a conference to learn how to laugh — at a cost to taxpayers of $625. They learned techniques to trigger their laugh, how to laugh at themselves and how to breathe through it all. Why? Because it lowers stress in the workplace, lightens the atmosphere and teaches people to better deal with stress, says the agency.

“If they spent $625 to learn about laughter therapy, it must not be funny in their workplace. People must be really stressed out,” said Marthe Robitaille, speaking on behalf of Outaouais l’urgence, a lobbying coalition that wants more health care funding for the region.

The 90-minute conference, held over a luncheon in April during Secretaries’ Week at a Gatineau golf club, was titled “Laughing at work — it’s serious.”

Apart from the 25 employees from Agence de la santé et des services sociaux de l’Outaouais, more than 100 other support staff from the region’s health care network took part in the conference.

“When employees are less stressed, at the end of the line, they perform better and are more efficient,” said Martin SaintLouis, spokesman for the agency. “At $25 per person, including lunch, to have secretaries that are motivated and more efficient, the investment is really worth it.”

The speaker was Linda Leclerc, a “certified laughter yoga teacher,” who was trained in B.C. by Dr. Madan Kataria, the Indian family physician who created laughter yoga. Her list of clients includes the Canada Revenue Agency, the Supreme Court of Canada and the Canada School of Public Service.

Ms. Leclerc said in an interview laughter’s health benefits are numerous: better breathing, higher heart rate, the release of endorphins — which balance the adrenaline brought on by stress.

“Laughing won’t change difficult events in the workplace, but it gives a different perspective,” she said.

Ms. Robitaille, the advocate for better health care in the Outaouais, agrees. She is a human resources consultant who gives presentations on stress management.

Laughter was not the only topic on the Outaouais health agency’s training menu. Sixteen employees attended a seven-hour workshop called “Neuroperformance: How to use one’s brain to the maximum.” That session, given by Dr. Marc Therrien, a neurologist and the director of the sleep clinic at a Gatineau hospital, aimed to “maximize cognitive abilities: concentration, memory, attention span,” said Mr. Saint-Louis.

The cost of learning those techniques: $2,545. At a cost of more than $10,000, 22 managers and professionals learned about “Political abilities: Key ingredient of success.” Employees requested and registered for that two-day workshop, said Mr. Saint-Louis.

Under Quebec provincial legislation, every business, government agency and ministry must invest every year 1% of its payroll in training. Any money not spent goes to a special provincial training fund.

I want my money back.

The EUwww factor ....

EU Referendum posts a gruesome scenario:

"... This is his plan, expected to be announced this week, that will oblige homes to sort rubbish into five containers – or potentially risk fines. Some councils already insist on separating glass, metal, paper and nonrecyclable refuse. But the centrepiece of the new scheme will be a requirement to separate waste food, save it in a special container and hand the rotting deposits over to council binmen. ..."

In the name of maggots everywhere, I welcome our new waist concious overlords ... except when it's 40 below zero, or someone lights a match.

Murphy would be proud ...

at the CBC:

... Along with a general policy to increase the use of compact fluorescents, which is a reasonably happy idea for the environment, it's also necessary to think about ways of promoting the capture and recycling of those," said Ron Pushchak, a professor with Ryerson University's School of Occupational Health and Safety.

The problem lies with the mercury contained in the fluorescent bulbs. There are only four or five milligrams in a compact bulb, said Pushchak, but it's still a neurotoxin and a hazardous material.

.... Jon Hagan has already thrown out a bulb that blew with a burst of white light after just two months of use. He said he would like more information and even suggests a fee be factored into the cost of the already pricey light bulbs in order to fund a disposal or recycling system.

"The claim is that there's not very much [mercury], but there are a lot of light bulbs out there," he said. .....

[my bold]

Ah ... the inevitable lighting tax.

I think I'll just fire up all my petroleum jelly.

Won't be long now ....

said the monkey as he backed into the lawnmower ....

"Court has created the mother of all parent traps"
John Robson, The Ottawa Citizen

You thought I was kidding. On Sept. 6, 2003, when this newspaper endorsed homosexual marriage, I wrote a column ending "Beware: Those who call for nonsense will find that it comes." And now a court says a child can have three parents ... and counting.

The decision strikes me as revolutionary. For starters, it makes polygamy all but inevitable. For if marriage, as two people of opposite sex, can be dissolved by any court and reconstituted as two people of any sex, and if parenthood, as up to two people, can be dissolved and reconstituted as three (or more), how long before a judge says all a child's parents can be married to each other, especially if they all live together?

[...]

As for nonsense, what does it even mean when a court says you can now have three parents? Did no child have three parents until Tuesday? Or have people always had groups of dads and we never noticed? At bottom what is law? Does it create facts, or merely recognize them?

[...]

The problem is not that this ruling gave a child a second "mother." For better or worse gay marriage did that. The intolerable novelty here is that the court did so without delisting the original father. Allowing parents to multiply raises enormous practical problems of child support, access and so on. But behind them lurks a question of principle: Is it really true that you can have more than two parents at one time?

If so, everyone who ever lived, loved and raised a family misunderstood the word "parent" from the dawn of time until light shone down from the bench on Tuesday. Which is what Canadian law now says.

So beware: Nonsense is not just coming. It's here.