Time to make the call!
Source: E-mail from a friend of mine in VancouverFor years and years they told me,
be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them
and give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
and protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
and I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care, my gyno said I should get a mammogram "OK," I said, "let's do it.""Stand up here real close" she said,
(she got my boob in line),
"and tell me when it hurts," she said.
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
my hooter's in a vise!My skin was stretched and mangled,
from underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed
to Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
within its viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
my poor defenseless tit!"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
and woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
to HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
it would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
and, see how THEY come out!OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer Awareness...go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends, --- and even your enemies because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer.
posted by Diana at 3:14 PM
6 Comments:
That's freaking funny.
Ouch. Don't you hate it when the first pictures aren't good enough and they have to take a few more shots?
I'd mention toture, but that would denigrate a most useful, exquisite art - such that it is practiced by your hands and with your skills m'lady.
I thought, against your reference to the malicious, why there has not been a concerted research effort to make a less impactful procedure - neigh, even a pleasurable one.
I can conceive, in this grand techological age, of an extremely small device about the size of several DNA molecules that could search around for evidence of rogue elemental breast-ules and, for that matter, eliminate them as it worked. Nanogram replaces Mammogram. Without too much additional design effort, it could be made to manipulate tittues in a most pleasurable way - perhaps armies of them working in concert with no reason to ignore the nethers as well. Such action would provide incentive to embrace the procedure - heck, even men would line up to undergo such.
Of course, this would give way to permanent licensing, initially by prescription and eventually over the counter - and would spawn a new era of air rage as travelers would be informed that they must turn off their nanograms for the duration of the flight. Those firms who manufacture vibratory ecoutrements would be forced from business. Moralists would pontificate over the conflict between safety and onanism...
I seem to have created my own conceptual vice, no doubt due to a fulfillment of Robert Frost's prophecy, but unable to find slumber after the miles that went and miles that went...
Sought to cry the misuse
Of your sweet bruis-ed tissues.
In fighting such abuse,
invented other issues.
To fight againt the subtle foe,
There is no easy answer.
Give some press to weal and woe,
To beat the dread breast cancer.
On that topic...
http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/06/10/1543214&from=rss
Armies, MC? Bring on the fleet!
Fleet don't fail me now!
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